Elijah's Birth

June 21, 2020

1:15am. I woke up with contractions and used the bathroom, too excited to believe I could actually be in labor a week early. Then I realized: But of course Elijah would come on Father’s Day! Did Malachi not prophecy that Elijah would come before the great and terrible day of the Lord to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers? How did I not see this coming? :)

I climbed back into bed, planning to try to get some more sleep. A few minutes later Nathaneal (6) came and climbed into bed with us, then Noah (2) came in lugging his blankets and made himself comfortable on the floor. (This is a nightly ritual. They rarely stay all night in their own beds. ) I imagined to myself how the morning would play out: I would wake the big kids up early and let them in on my secret of baby Elijah coming today. We would make Papa’s breakfast in bed and as soon as he finished his meal, I’d ask him to set up the birthing tub. 

I didn’t fall back asleep, and eventually gave up on my breakfast-in-bed plan. I woke Ben up and told him that Elijah had decided he wanted to be born on Father’s Day. Ben was happy, but tired, so I assured him he we had time and that he could keep sleeping, which he gratefully did... for about another 15 minutes. During that time I cleaned out the laundry room to make room for the birthing tub, while contractions came every 2-3 minutes. I was at the end of taking the 5 week formula by Natures Sunshine, which was supposed to soften the cervix and strengthen the uterus, leading to quicker deliveries. (I started taking it at 34 weeks instead of 35 ) It seemed to be working well so far, and I hoped this might be a quicker, easier labor and delivery. I didn’t want to miss out on using the birthing tub though, so I went back upstairs and woke Ben up again. It took him about an hour to get the tub set up, inflated and then filled. While he worked on that I puttered around making the laundry room more homey. Cleaned the toilet and set out a candle, dimmed the lights and played music on my phone. Made sure we had receiving blankets, towels, a bulb syringe, etc. all within reach. By 3:30 am I was really grateful to step into the birthing tub. The water wasn’t as warm as I had hoped, but it still brought incredible relief. Like seriously. Ahhhh. It was so much easier to relax through the contractions as they surged steadily along. Keeping an eye on the clock I noticed that they lasted about 1-2 minutes with about 1-2 minutes in between. Ben sat beside the tub with a hand on my arm or back and read the labor companion leaflet I’d purchased with my other birthing supplies from In His Hands. 

I was concentrating very hard on keeping my body relaxed, utilizing my birthing affirmations and thinking grateful, loving thoughts. Receiving each contraction without resistance, allowing it to do it’s work completely. I reflected on my Savior’s willing sacrifice for me and prayed silently in gratitude for Him. I want to be like Him. “although in agony he hung, no murmuring word escaped his tongue.” I breathed steadily through squeezing surges that seemed to almost consume me before peaking and ebbing away. I appreciated having Ben close, but around 5:00 am, his encouraging words became annoying to me. I felt like he couldn’t understand how difficult this job of “relaxing” actually was. So I asked him to please stop talking. This made him laugh, which he tried to hide, but I knew exactly what he was thinking: “Oh good! She’s getting cranky, she must be really close to transition!” I laughed too, oddly enough and said, “I’m not as far along as you think I am, I’m just cranky!” He suppressed a smile, said, “Okay” and nothing more. He added hot water a couple of times until the water temperature was perfect. While the water was spraying in, it was super easy to imagine I was in a hot spring in the mountains, near a waterfall. I can't over-emphasize how soothing water is.  My contractions never slowed down, but I didn’t feel I was making progress and I couldn't understand why. Both Daniel and Nathanael had been born in the water, what was the hold-up here? The thought came several times that I needed to get out of the water for things to really progress, but I didn't want to. Finally, after nearly three hours (6:30am) in the water, I was desperate enough to get this over with that I was willing to change things up. I had only been out of the water for brief intervals to use the toilet, which was a few steps away. 

As difficult as it was to stand up and leave the buoyancy of the water, I knew I needed extra help from gravity. Ben held my hand and supported me by the elbow as much as he could as I got out and put on my night gown. We walked up the stairs and around the kitchen and living room. I was making low moaning sounds with every exhalation by this time, and really struggling to give my body over to the surging waves of pain. I pictured myself on a run, with my sister in law, Kim. We were running up a very steep hill and I desperately wanted to stop and walk. But Kim smiled and led the way, “Come on, Rach! We can do hard things!” That imagery helped me place one foot in front of another until we were back in the laundry room where I got down on my hands and knees and rested my upper body on the birthing ball while Ben pushed gently on the small of my back. I began to shake uncontrollably and felt myself slipping into despair. I told Ben I’d lost my happy thoughts and I couldn’t do this anymore, maybe I’m too old, maybe we can still make it to the hospital for an epidural, why hasn’t my water broken yet? why does this have to hurt so much?

He helped me back into the tub where I was able to regain composure. We both felt I needed to birth on land, so he hurried upstairs to prepare, carrying the little boys back to their own beds, and placing a shower curtain and chucks pads on our bed. While he was gone I tried pushing with the contractions. It felt like I was fully dilated, but the baby just wasn’t moving into position. I did lose my mucous plug though and there was some bloody show. Ben came back and helped me stand up and walk ever so slowly and painfully up the two flights of stairs to our bedroom. He asked if he could carry me, and I knew he wished he could ease my burden, but gravity was what I needed. (He might have also been a little worried about the mess he'd have to clean up if my water broke all over the carpet, lol!)

Halfway to my room I went down to my knees and crawled, pausing for Ben to provide counter pressure during strong surges. He was always right there to push on my back or squeeze my hips, both of which provided much needed relief. 

It was almost 7:00 by now. I worried that the kids would start waking up and asking for breakfast, demanding Ben’s attention. I also felt the need for some outside assurance. I asked Ben to call Bethany Nyholm and ask her to come over. 

I couldn’t rest or find any position of comfort on the bed. I was fairly writhing and crying in pain, so desperate for this to be over with. I asked Ben for a blessing and he quickly retrieved his consecrated oil, anointed my head and gave me a Priesthood blessing of comfort and strength. I remember him blessing me that I might know and feel of my Heavenly Father’s great love for me and for Elijah. He blessed me that my water would break and the baby would be born quickly. I prayed silently but fervently, “Father, please help me accomplish this birth. Please! Deliver me from this overwhelming pain!”

I moved to the toilet and used it as a birthing stool. My legs were shaking but they were at least relieved of my weight and I put my strength into bearing down intensely. Suddenly, “Pop!”, “Splash!” My bag of waters burst, bringing substantial relief. And hope.

I took several cleansing breaths, commenting to Ben how relieved I felt...until the next wave came and I was again down on my hands and knees asking Ben to push on my back. I breathed through it as best as I could, but I felt my hands and feet tingling and knew I was hyperventilating.

I climbed up onto the bed on all fours and pushed mightily with the next contraction. I was right at the edge of the bed and Ben was worried I might fall off. (Our bed is tall.) He asked me 2-3 times to move a little further in on the bed before I was able to comply. My arms were trembling and the incredible power of uterine surges made it difficult to process anything else. 

Finally, the moment we had eagerly awaited for months, was here. I didn’t want to wake up the children, but I couldn’t suppress the battle-cry that rose long and loud as Elijah’s head stretched open that miraculous baby door. The “ring of fire” provided searing satisfaction, not a place I wanted to stay, but an experience I can never forget. 

This beautiful moment is well named as “crowning”. The crown of the head is visible, announcing the eternally significant moment of birth. Crowned in glory, a magnificent spirit enters mortality and claims their earthly tabernacle.

With two, or three more pushes, Elijah’s head, then shoulders squeezed through the birth canal, and “whoosh!”, he was in Papa’s arms. Exquisite relief replaced the pressure. All the pain was worth that very moment! 

Ben helped me step over the cord so I could sit down (our bed is covered in chucks pads) and hold Elijah. With my heart full of thanks to God, I snuggled and admired our precious little one. He was slimy and purple and perfect! Rubbing his back with the receiving blanket, I felt satisfied with his breathing, even though he only made soft squeaking sounds, not really a cry. Ben checked the time: 7:32am. He hurried downstairs for the stack of receiving blankets we’d left by the birthing tub. 

I gazed lovingly at Elijah's little face and big hands. All this time I've wondered what he would look like, and he looks just like his last two brothers, lol! 

Noah woke up and walked in (perfect timing!) and I showed him that Baby Elijah had come out of my tummy. He took it all in, wide eyed, and said, “I not a baby.”  Then he went around waking up the other children, beginning with Abish. When Ben came back upstairs  he wrapped Elijah up and Abish held him beside the bed, with the umbilical cord still attached. Bethany arrived about this time. About 20 minutes after birth, Ben felt it had been sufficient time, and the cord was limp and white, so he clamped and cut the cord and put a tiny rubber band around the stump. He weighed Elijah and announced 8 lbs, 10 ounces! Abish was excited to choose Elijah’s first outfit and dress him, so she took over from there. He had pinked up nicely and was content to sleep in Abish’s arms. 

I climbed into the shower to rinse off and was able to deliver the placenta. Ben and Bethany cleaned up and got the bed ready for me to climb back into to rest. Bethany got my stretchy undies and ice-pack pad ready and helped me into them as I got out of the shower. (Home-birthers, be sure to have these cold pack pads on hand. They are amazing!) 

I climbed into bed and Abish returned the baby for me to suckle and snuggle. Bethany went home to enjoy Father’s Day with her own family. It was so kind of her to come!

Ben had Abish bring me the breakfast menu I had made for him and she marked my choices. I was served a delicious breakfast in bed: raspberry tea, hash browns, bacon, eggs, and orange slices. 

I wish childbirth didn’t feel like walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but I acknowledge that God is all-wise, all-knowing, all-powerful, and perfectly loving. There is purpose in all our suffering. The words of Thomas Paine regarding freedom can rightly be applied to the creation of Life: "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. Tis dearness only that gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as freedom should not be highly rated."

― Thomas Paine, The American Crisis

I also acknowledge that mutual love and appreciation between husband and wife is forged through these beautiful sacrifices. I love my husband more than ever and never want to be without him. Our dependence upon the Lord is undeniable and our trust in Him is sure. He is our God and the Rock of our Salvation. We will trust in Him forever and not be afraid. 

The children took care of each other and watched Sunday movies for several hours while Ben and I slept. Abish made german pancakes for lunch, and Ty made a nice dinner of taquitos, rice, and corn on the cob. Jared, Daniel, and Nathanael wrapped gifts for Ben and we celebrated around the dining room table. What a memorable Father's Day!

I was grateful to be home with my family. The children constantly snuggled and admired their new baby brother. Ben is my hero! I love our family.  We are so blessed.