Speaking in Sacrament - a Family Affair

Our family had the opportunity to speak in church today, in our new ward in Lindon.  It was so much fun!  The kids seemed to enjoy sitting on the stand and looking out at the audience.  Everyone from Jared on up had a turn speaking.  Jared loves to give talks.  He walked right up and spoke without any sign of fear:  

"All Human Beings - male and female - were created in the image of God.  My name is Jared and I am 4 years old.  I'm growing up to be a missionary and a daddy.  Jesus is our Savior.  Heavenly Father and Jesus created this world for us because we are special to them.  I love my family."  Then he sang the song we made up for the family reunion, to the tune of Frozen's, do you wanna build a snowman: "Do you wanna build a family?  Father, mother, daughter, son.  I think a family is the way to show, how love can grow, you know it's lots of fun!  A family is a blessing, let us not forget.  Even though there are days we cry . . . Never give up on yours fam'ly, there's nothing better than a fam'ly!  Amen."

Then Abish spoke.  Her talk was a little different every time we practiced it.  My name is Abish, I'm 6 years old.  I love my mom and dad and my 6 brothers.  I hope that someday I'll have a sister.  I'm happy to know that I am a child of God.   . . . I'm going to . . . get married.  (She was trying to remember: When I grow up, I will be married in the temple so my family will be sealed forever.)  I want to grow up to be a Mother, and I want to be a Grandma!
I want to go on a mission and bring the gospel to other people.  I . . . love Jesus . . . because he is so kind.   (Abish doesn't enjoy giving talks as much as Jared does.  She actually opted out when we spoke in the Elk Ridge Ward earlier this year, and had some evident stage fright today.  Still, she did a good job and was very pleased with herself.)

Nephi gave his talk from memory.  This past week he had considered what was special to him about each of his siblings.  He said:  My name is Nephi.  I'm 9 years old.  I love my family.  I love to play with my brothers.  They are good examples to me.  Ty is nice.  He solves fights.  When Mom is gone and he's taking care of us, he makes sure everyone is happy.  Kaden shares his things with us, like his legos, candy, and books.  Jared and I like to pretend we're cowboys.  Daniel means what he says.  (Isn't that hilarious?!  That's what he's observed about his 2 year old brother.  It's true too.  Daniel speaks his mind and is difficult to sway.)  God put us in families because He knew we needed them. 

After Nephi's talk our whole family (Ben was holding Nathan and I was holding Daniel who had a binkie in his mouth, a sippy in one hand and a container of cheerios in the other) came to the microphone and sang: The Family is of God

Kaden wrote his talk completely on his own, sharing his experiences from youth conference, expressing thanks to the leaders, and bearing his testimony.  I'm so proud of him!

"Hi.  My name is Kaden Saltzgiver for those of you who don't know me.  I would like to talk about my experience at youth conference.  When we got there we didn't want to help set up the tents and get everything ready, we were right by a big lake and we all wanted to go swimming.  After we set everything up and ate lunch, we went to a field and did a bunch of fun activities.  Then we had a big water fight with some other people.   It was way awesome!  Thanks, Leaders!  Then, later that night we all went to the Castle Valley Pageant.  Before the pageant we got to walk around the area where they would perform.  They had fun activities to do before it started.  The pageant was about the saints.  The prophet, Brigham Young, asked everyone if some of the saints would leave their nice home and go to Castle Valley and turn it into a city for other saints to come and live in.

Later, the next morning, we went back to where the pageant took place and cleared out all the big rocks so that when the actors came they could do everything smoothly.  Then we ate lunch, returned to our camp area, and swam for the rest of the day.  The leaders brought kayaks and rented paddle boards.  There was a big dock out in the water and we all got on the dock and tried to push each other off.  We called it: King of the Dock! Then we all got out and had a testimony meeting.  The spirit was so strong.  After that we watched The Blind Side.  It was great. 

In the morning we packed up and drove back.  I can't explain how much of a great time I had.  Thank you so much, Leaders.  You guys are awesome!

I would like to bear my testimony that I know this church is true.  I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, and I know that this church is the one and only true church of God.  I love my family and I know that they love me.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Ty was next:

About three weeks ago I got to go on the youth conference trip as my first activity with this ward.  I was a little nervous, because I didn't know anyone, but it was really nice because everyone was so friendly.   

We drove down to Southern Utah to see the Castle Valley Pageant.  It was about the generation after the pioneers who crossed the plains.  They were called by the prophet Brigham Young to settle Castle Valley.  They had to leave the comfort of their homes in an established town and start all over with basically a little dirt hut.   The prophet asked for volunteers to go and settle Castle Valley.  So the people who went, went trusting in the Lord and his prophet that they would be given the strength they needed to survive and establish a new town for other saints to come and settle in.  They sacrificed a lot and were blessed to know they were doing the Lord’s work.  I know that if I follow the Lord and his prophets, I’ll be blessed too.  

We also did a service project, moving big rocks off the trail that they use in the pageant.  Then we got to swim and play in the water.  

I’m glad I got to go to youth conference.  It was a lot of fun.  I’m thankful to the leaders for coming and helping to prepare everything.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Daniel was feeling extremely playful and Ben and I had to corner him in the stand.  A kind lady named Kris, who serves in the primary presidency, saw our plight and took Daniel to play in the nursery.  I was glad Ben got to stay and hear my talk.  It's the longest and probably the best talk I've ever given, because I actually wrote it from my own experiences instead of compiling notes from other people's talks.

We’re excited to be in this ward, and are thankful for the opportunity to speak.   A couple years ago, we started a private school and put a lot of time and money into it.  It was a great experience and we learned a lot.  I came away with a deeper appreciation for the opportunities this church offers our youth (and adults) to prepare talks and lessons, teach basic doctrines and share testimony.  This really is the highest form of learning, when we preparing to teach.

I was so uplifted by the talks and lessons I heard last week.   Thank you.  What a blessing it is to be able to come to church each week and be spiritually fed.  I love the topic we were asked to speak on today: defending the doctrine of the family.

The Family is ordained of God.  Families are central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.  They are the very purpose for which this world was created.  “He sent each one of us to earth, through birth, to live and learn here in fam’lys.”  In the premortal realm we shouted for joy at the prospect of becoming like our Heavenly Parents!

          When I went off to college at the ripe old age of 18, I was acutely aware of my parents faults and planned to do a much better job with my own family.   Now, 17 years later, with a family of my own, I think: my parents did a pretty good job!   I wonder if I was cocky as a spirit daughter too.  “Heavenly Father, I’m ready to go!  I can handle any experience that  physical body holds for me!”  Now I’m like “Fast . . .  for 24 hours?!  But I’m so hungry! . . .”  Trying to wake up at 6:00 . . “just 5 more minutes . . .zzzzz.”  My parents accredit the success they’ve experienced in their family to “following the Lord’s program!”  I want to share a little bit about them.

I’m the 7th of 11 children.  I was born in Missoula Montana in 1979.      My parents were also born in Missoula, although my Dad grew up in Idaho.  He returned to Missoula in his late teens where he met and married my Mom.  Although neither of my parents had the gospel of Jesus Christ when they were growing up, they did have parents who stayed together, loved their children as best they could, and taught them to believe the Bible.  I was even more fortunate, because 8 years before I was born, my parents were taught the gospel by two young LDS missionaries and joined the Church in 1971.  At the time they were just newly married and had two small children.  They had no plans for a large family.  My mom, by her own confession, "doesn't like babies", but she believed that following the prophets would bring happiness, so she obeyed in faith and let the children come.  Her example on this account speaks volumes to me!  She didn’t have children because they are cute or fun, or because she had easy pregnancies (she didn’t).  She had children in order to keep the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.  As her 7th child, I am SO glad she did! :) I shudder to think of where I would be without my family, without the gospel!

Dad was a conductor for the Burlington Northern railroad and his job frequently kept him away from home for days at a time, but when he was home he played with us, took us camping, and involved us in all his home improvement projects.  He also baptized each of us children and provided special father's blessings. I'm thankful for my wonderful parents!

My Dad worked hard and provided well.  He built us a large, beautiful home on 40 acres.  I grew up with farm animals - horses, pigs, chickens, ducks, dogs, cats, peacocks, goats, and cows. I climbed trees, played in tree houses, and had lots of room to run and play.  (It's a dream come true to buy this house here in Lindon and extend similar opportunities to my own children.) My mom kept us busy (at least that's how I felt as a child - that she was keeping us busy - heh, heh) growing a large garden, taking care of animals (and younger siblings), doing laundry, and cleaning the house.    She  taught us the gospel through daily family scripture study, weekly family home evenings, and her own example.  She accepted callings, went visiting teaching, and made semi-annual General Conference a family event.   

While my parents and family are not perfect, living the gospel has blessed us tremendously and brought great happiness.  They are serving a mission in Wisconsin right now and their examples continue to bless my life and the lives of my children.  Earlier this month we had a family reunion at Bear Lake.  My parent’ mission president encouraged them to come home for this special event.  Nine of eleven siblings and their spouses camped for three days and enjoyed swimming, games, running, crafts, and testimony sharing.  44 out of 55 cousins came together for  a great time.   It was wonderful, hard to say good-bye and return to our separate homes, and yet, it was impressed on my mind how strong a parent’s love is for a child.  It’s stronger than an Aunt’s, stronger than a Grandmother’s.  Parents love children enough to do the difficult work of enforcing rules.   I think this helps us understand our Heavenly Father a little more.  He isn’t a Heavenly Grandfather.    

“Too often we confuse God’s love with human kindness. We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven—a senile benevolence who, as they say, ‘liked to see young people enjoying themselves’ and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of the day, ‘a good time was had by all.’”

But that is not God’s plan for us. He wants us to become like Him. He wants us to experience the fullness of joy He enjoys—eternal joy, not merely temporary contentedness. And He loves us enough that He will do whatever it takes for us to reach that goal, including allowing us to experience things that are difficult and soul-stretching. And He does it not because He doesn’t love us, but precisely because He does.

But even when we have to learn things from our extremities in order to fulfill God’s plan for us, His love will be there to sustain us… especially when we need His love the most. …So let us not sell God’s love short by confusing it with mere human kindness. His love is much deeper than that.” (Kevin J. Worthen, “It Was as If a Blanket of Love Was Flowing Over Me”, May 2, 2013, BYU Women’s Conference)  

I knew from my youth that having the gospel at the center of my home was important to me.  I graduated from Rick’s College (now BYU-I) with a degree in Nursing, and married a returned missionary in the temple.  Beginning my own family is where I feel my education really began.   My whole life so far had been looking forward to and preparing for this!  Now here I was, and sharing my life with a husband was a lot harder than I thought it would be!  I grew much closer to Heavenly Father through sincere prayer as I struggled in that marriage.  We had two precious little boys, but sadly, that marriage ended in divorce.  For two years I supported myself and my children as a single mother, and was very grateful for my nursing degree.  

In 2004, I agreed to go on a blind date set up by a little known acquaintance.  Boy, was that a good idea!  Ben had actually been married and divorced himself, which seems like it should have been a red-flag - warning - danger -, but it turned out that we had a lot to talk about and understood each other really well.   We both wanted to put the Lord first in our marriage, and support one another in keeping the commandments.  We were married in the Provo Temple and in a couple weeks we’ll celebrate our 10th Anniversary!    

What a joy it is to be in a peaceful, secure marriage! I wonder if I would have appreciated it this much if I had never experienced the opposite?  We have been blessed with 7 wonderful children, whom we hope and pray will marry well and find joy in their own families.  

In 2 Nephi 2:22 Nephi is teaching about the fall of Adam and Eve: “If Adam had not transgressed, he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden.  And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they would have remained forever, and had no end.”  

This is essentially describing life without opposition.   You would clean the house and it would it would stay clean! Whatever you like to build or create, imagine it lasting forever without becoming old or ruined.  Sounds nice, right? But could it do so while fulfilling the measure of it’s creation?   Adam and Eve chose to leave the garden paradise, void of weeds, hunger, thirst, or fatigue in order to fill the measure of their creation and become PARENTS.   We should reflect often on the great privilege it is to be a father or a mother.  

Not that it’s easy.  Verse 23 says: and they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good for they knew no sin.”  It’s true, children help us experience both joy and misery.  Ben asked me the other night if I’d ever had the kids cry for more than 20 minutes in the car?  He said he was ready to pull his hair out!  I said I would have pulled over, or turned the music up so loud that they would have to stop crying in order to ask me turn it down. ;)

I usually snuggle with my 2 year old at nap time.  We put our foreheads together and sometimes the shoelace from his pacifier (you see, his pacifier is tied to his bed - best idea ever!) sometimes the end of that shoelace tickles my face and makes me rub my nose like crazy.  Daniel breaks out in a belly laugh that is so contagious I can’t help myself and we laugh and laugh together.  That’s part of the joy.  So is eating delicious breakfasts made by my  14 year old, morning after morning.  Or having lotion rubbed on my feet by tiny hands, eager to return the favor.  Receiving countless hand-drawn pictures and lego creations.  Deciphering little love notes left by a child just learning to write.  And seeing a 12 year old lose himself in serving his younger siblings.  These are a few of my favorite things.  They more than compensate for the less favorite things, like toothpaste in the carpet, soiled underwear, morning sickness, piles of laundry, squabbling siblings, chaotic meals, and . . . crying (them and me).

Home is truly a laboratory of learning.

Ensign, March 1979 Laboratory of Love

Where the home is, there love should be. The home is the laboratory of love, and in it resides the most important unit of the Church and of society—the family. Recently I was interviewed by a representative of a national magazine who expressed keen interest in a photograph on my desk of Sister Nelson and me with our family. He asked if we had any problems with rebellious youth, drug abuse, and morals among such a large family. When I replied in the negative, his interest seemed to become more intense.

                   

Then he said, “When did you and your wife start to plan for your family and give them such emphasis in your lives?”

                   

I simply replied, “Before we were ever married.” Then I continued, “You see, we believe that our major goal in life is to strengthen our family. Service in the Church, the community, continuing education, and our occupational endeavors all are undertaken to provide development for our family.”

                   

He seemed surprised. He countered; “But earlier in our interview you said you and your wife had always tried to obey the scripture, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God.’ (Matt. 6:33.) Now you tell me the family comes first.”

                   

He thought he had me. But I  . .  said, “I cannot seek the kingdom of God without loving and honoring first that family he has given to me. I cannot honor that family without loving and caring first for my wife!”

Our families provide the perfect training ground for us to “seek first the kingdom of God, by learning and practicing Christ-like qualities.

The RS lesson last Sunday, from the Joseph Fielding Smith manual taught:  “The importance of family unity - love and consideration for one another in the family - cannot be overemphasized.  Spiritual solidarity in family relationships is the sure foundation upon which the church and society itself will flourish.”  Satan knows this very well and is using every clever device, influence, and power within his control to undermine and destroy this eternal institution.  “Only the gospel of Jesus Christ applied in family relationships will thwart this devilish destructiveness.”

In order to preserve love and unity in our homes we must guard against contention.

A friend recently posted on fb: Nothing gets you out of bed faster than when your three year old hands you a toilet brush.  True right?  We can picture that.  Now if we could be like Nephi and shake at the appearance of sin, then contention would be as appalling to us as a toilet brush and elicit a similar response:  “Noooo, keep it away from me!”

Elder Nelson also taught:  As we dread any disease that undermines the health of the body, so should we deplore contention, which is a corroding canker of the spirit.”

 Abraham Lincoln said:

“Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. … Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him.” (Letter to J. M. Cutts, 26 Oct. 1863, in Concise Lincoln Dictionary of Thoughts and Statements, comp. and arr. Ralph B. Winn, New York: New York Philosophical Library, 1959, p. 107.)

Contention destroys peace by driving away the Spirit of the Lord.    “The Lord God hath commanded men  . . . that they should not contend one with another.” (2 Ne. 26:32.)

How can we make preserving unity and peace a family goal?   

A couple things we have tried are: Sing a hymn, “I’m trying to be like Jesus”.  Whisper the code words: soft hearts, quoting scripture:  a soft answer turneth away wrath. :) He that is slow to anger is stronger than the mighty, and he that controlleth his tongue, than he that taketh a city.  :)  Or just exercising a quiet patience - simple, profound belief that things will get better.

As we consistently work at it and follow the prophetic counsel to have daily family scripture study, family prayers, weekly family home evenings, and make family mealtimes a priority, we will begin to reap the benefits recorded in 3rd Nephi:

And there was no contention in all the land because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the of the people.

My children frequently amaze me by the patience and long suffering they show toward me and with each other.  I’m so proud of them and humbled to be their mother.  I’m grateful for the help we receive from wonderful nursery, primary, and youth leaders.  I’m so thankful for my membership in this church.  I know it contains the fulness of the everlasting gospel!

I know God lives.  I have felt Him near me during times of happiness as well as during the most difficult times of my life.  He helped me through my divorce and gave me the confidence I needed to marry again.  He is our Heavenly Father and He loves us.  I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.  

I’m so grateful for my family, past, present and future.  I love them so much.   I’m grateful for the opportunities given to me daily for me to learn to get along with others, to forgive, to be patient, to help me become like Heavenly Mother. I’m thankful for our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. I know he has been called of God and leads this church as the Savior would have him do. I know that if I continue doing my best to follow the teachings and example of our Savior, eliminating the spirit of contention in my life, that my home, family, and the world will be blessed.   In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Several kind people told us they enjoyed our talks.  One man said he felt hope upon hearing that ours was a blended family, that we have both survived divorce.  His wife left him earlier this year.   Another man said he was filled with "holy envy" to hear that we had a daughter named Abish.  He said he has always wanted to give one of his daughters that name!   

I'm so proud of my kids for preparing and giving such great talks, and I'm glad it's over!  :)

Oh, and Ben shared excerpts from Julie Beck's talk: Teaching the doctrine of the family.  As the last speaker he usually has lots of time that he has to fill, but not today!  He only had about 7 minutes.  My favorite part of his talk was: "I love my wife!"  :)