With every preceding birth, from the moment I felt my first contraction, it was less than 12 hours later that the baby was born. These contractions didn't "hurt" they were just a lot of pressure, which is how I've heard many women describe their labor. Although it was really different for me to have these kind of contractions for several days before the birth, I think it helped me to perceive them as "pressure" instead of "pain" much later as my labor progressed.
I had been praying for weeks that this baby would be born just as soon as he was prepared for life outside the womb. I really hate the last few weeks of pregnancy and I am seriously grumpy when I go past 40 weeks. April 13 was our 40 week mark. I tried to mentally prepare myself for going to April 19th - my brother Joshua's birthday - because his middle name is Nathan, but I REALLY wanted to have the baby before General Conference, and I thought 4-4-14 would be a cool birthday. Still, I didn't want to wait even that long, and since Ben really wanted an April baby, I mentally gave my body permission and coaxed Nathan to be born every day after April 1. I had all the birthing supplies, baby clothes, blankets, and bassinet prepared. The children all looked forward to meeting Nathan, and with Ty and Kaden home, it just seemed like the time was right.
April 2, 2014 Wednesday.
Ben got up and went to work as usual. I had breakfast and scripture reading with the children, then decided to go through some new math materials that came from Richard and Donae's storage unit to see if I wanted to use them for home-school. I was watching the math video with Abish and Jared, just sitting on the floor, when I realized that my contractions were very regular, and about 5 minutes apart. Still no pain at all, but kind of uncomfortable. I wouldn't have wanted to be far from home. By lunch time, Ty had finished his morning habits, household chores and personal school goals, so he was eligible for screen time and chose to play Minecraft. The house was clean, the kitchen and refrigerator were stocked with food, and the children were all dressed and getting along well, so I didn't mind that they all gathered around and watched Ty play. I was preparing chicken and vegetable enchiladas for lunch and kind of keeping my eye on the clock to see how far apart the contractions were. They were about 3-5 minutes apart and sometimes so strong that I felt I should go lie down. I didn't mention anything to the kids, but about 12:30 I put the enchiladas in the oven but didn't turn it on because I wasn't sure I'd be around to take take them out. The kids had been snacking on fresh fruit and weren't that hungry anyway. I took a belly picture in the bathroom mirror to remember this pregnancy and maybe someday put in Nathan's baby book.
Took a nice warm bath, then got out into my big green pajama gown and climbed into bed. Propped with pillows and and lying as comfortably as I could on my side, the contractions were still very regular and strong. I guessed the baby would be born within a couple of hours, so texted Ben at work: I think this is the real thing. He came home as soon as he could - arriving about 2:00. The kids were still completely captivated by watching Ty play Minecraft and hadn't noticed that I'd gone missing. They were surprised to have Papa come home in the middle of the day. When he told them I was having the baby they all came running into my bedroom expecting, I think, to see the new baby. I told them he would probably be born by dinner time. Daniel climbed into bed with me and took a nap. Ben rubbed my back a little bit, but at this point the contractions cut way back in frequency and intensity. I encouraged Ben to go out and spend time with the kids who were so excited to have him home and I napped with Daniel. Later I put on a bathrobe and watched a movie with Ben and the kids. Ben kept looking over at me and asking if I was feeling anything. It was such a different labor! I was glad he was there and lending emotional support. It was nice to have him home, even if I wasn't progressing as quickly as we expected. I was still having contractions, but they were far enough apart for me to easily stay relaxed through, and kept us wondering exactly when this baby would arrive.
We ate the enchiladas for dinner and Ty and Kaden stayed home from Scouts. I was excited to be in labor and so grateful to have our whole family together. We put the children to bed, promising to wake them up after the baby was born. Kaden (age 12) slept on the couch in our room. He wanted to see the birth and cut the umbilical cord. We all went to bed, and it felt good to lay down, but I didn't really sleep. Ben had mentioned that he was really tired, so I tried to let him get as much rest as possible. At 11:00 I felt that a hot bath would be helpful. I was beginning to feel like this wasn't very much fun, but was still excited to be so near to meeting Nathan. I thanked Heavenly Father for granting me so many of my hearts desires. The peaceful assurances of another natural home birth without complications, the blessing of another child in our family, and now, skipping out on the last 10 days of pregnancy! YES!!!! I had experienced complete confidence and peace through out the entire pregnancy each time I thought and prayed about the birth, so there was never any worry or fear. The warm water and hymns playing on my iPod had a strengthening and soothing effect as I labored, taking the contractions one at a time and communing with Heavenly Father in grateful prayer. This line from a hymn made me smile: "These little afflictions, though painful at present, er long with the righteous in glory shall end." (pg. 266 The Time is Far Spent)
April 3, 2014 Thursday
Shortly after 12:00 a.m. I got out of the tub and made my way back to the bed. The contractions were hurting now and I moaned through them. With some difficulty, I woke Ben up, and he immediately came around to my side of the bed to help with counter pressure. He was wearing a company t-shirt that said Quality Support 24/7. I smiled to myself. How fitting. Ben is really a terrific labor companion. He is completely attentive and does everything he can to help: suggestion I change positions, pushing on my back, offering sips of water, etc. He pulled my knees against his chest and pulled in on the small of my back. This helped a little bit, but not as well as at other times. After a few contractions he encouraged me to move back to the tub.
I wasn't very chatty by now. I was doing my best not to furrow my brow. (It's incredible. If my brow is relaxed, my body is relaxed and my thoughts are positive. If my brow is wrinkled I'm sure to be tense somewhere else as well and not thinking happy thoughts.) With Ben's help I managed to walk back to the bathtub where I sank down onto my hands and knees and rested my head on a towel on the edge of the tub. The contractions seemed to last forever. Ben counted out loud with each contraction to give me encouragement and some sense of time. The 1:00 hour came and went.
I don't remember if we had music playing anymore. Perhaps that would have helped me remember my Savior's sacrifice, as I had intended to keep that uppermost in my mind. I'm ashamed to say that my cheerful, grateful attitude started a downward slide. I couldn't focus on anything but the pain and began to feel sorry for myself. My thoughts went from: Whew. There now, that wasn't so bad. to
I do not like this!
How much longer?
I am definitely NOT doing this again. 7 children is plenty!
Around 2:00 a.m. I was feeling so tired. I had tried every position I could think of in the tub. I had a towel under my knees in the water to make them more stable and comfortable. I asked Ben to climb into the tub with me to support my back, which he immediately did. (He's so good!) I got up into a squat and leaned back against him, laying my head on his shoulder. It was nice to have him close but I still felt pretty miserable and desperate. The contractions were so long, strong, and close together that I had great difficulty coping with them. I said grumpily to Ben, "Why did I feel like this birth was going to go so well? He responded, "It is going well."
I took offense at that. Easy for him to say!
He gave me a priesthood blessing of strength and comfort, thanking Heavenly Father for the gift of another child and asked that he come quickly. I was far more grumpy than humble, after this blessing. I wasn't worried that anything would go wrong, I just wanted to have it over with. When Ben tried to encourage me with words like, "You're doing great." You're almost there." I gave him a terse "Shhh!" What would he know? Don't go making promises that you have no control over!
(I felt bad later for being rude to Ben and apologized. He said he didn't think anything of it, except that it encouraged him to know I was in the stage of transition and the birth was very near. He saw it as a positive mile marker!)
Realizing that there was nothing more that Ben or I could do to ease my suffering, I cried out, "Please, Father! Please deliver me! I can't endure this any more!"
Ben then suggested that I get into more of an upright position. I wimpered, "I can't", but he helped me move into a forward leaning squat and we heard the welcoming POP as my bag of waters broke. I knew then that I was almost done. I could see the finish line ahead, but felt ready to drop. I pressed on, because there was no other option.
Drawing from everything I had, I got up onto my knees and felt the baby moving down the birth canal. Recognizing that familiar "ring of fire" and feeling every bit like a mighty lioness, I opened my mouth in a ferocious, "Aaaahhhhhhgg!!!"
His head emerged beneath the water, but stopped there. I noticed that Kaden had entered the room, looking apprehensive. I felt Nathan's head and face with my hand. Ben was calm and allowed me to wait for the next contraction, when with another ROAR, my body finished the birthing of our 7th child! Whew! Indescribable Relief!
I lifted his little head above the water and Father, Mother, and big brother watched with loving adoration as he took his first breath. Kaden called out the time: 2:37 a.m. Nathan opened his eyes and we saw some subconjunctival hemorrhaging - evidence that his journey through the birth canal wasn't a picnic for him either. His hands and face were a dark red, almost purple. That really worried Kaden, but as he was breathing well, Ben and I assured Kaden that he was fine. Kaden handed me the receiving blankets that I had set beside the tub, and Ben quickly got out and changed into clean, dry garments. When it came right down to it, Kaden was kind of grossed out and didn't want to hold the baby until he'd been cleaned up. And there was "NO WAY!" he was going to cut the cord! So While Ben held Nathan, I cut the cord, and with a very gentle tug, the placenta came right out. (Ben was upset because I've told him before that you should never pull on the cord to remove the placenta, as it could tear the placenta away prematurely, resulting in pieces of retained placenta which could lead to hemorrhaging, etc. etc. But this was me, giving just a tiny bit of traction to my own cord, and it was obviously already detached, because out it slid, into my hands, kerplop!) We double bagged it and put it in the garbage, and that was about it for clean up. Ben took Nathan into the bedroom and dried him off, weighed him (only 5 lbs, 12 oz!) then dressed him in his first diaper and a comfortable little jammie and hat that I had prepared. I rinsed off, dried off, put on a big pad and climbed into bed to nurse Nathan. At 3:00 a.m. Ben woke up the rest of the children (except Daniel - age 2) who hurried happily to our bed to see and hold their new baby brother.
Heaven. On. Earth.
I took a couple of Motrin to help with the after-birth pains and repented for ever suggesting that Donae go off pain meds. After a few minutes everyone went back to bed. Not a bad night's work. Ben was right. The birth had gone well. I guess I had assumed that all those peaceful assurances had meant that it would be easy. But as Thomas Paine said, "Heaven knows how to put a proper price on her goods . . ." it would be strange indeed if such a thing as human life were obtained too easily.
My prayer now was infinitely more humble. I had felt my absolute dependence on Heavenly Father and knew first hand of his infinite love and mercy. Through the Atonement of His son, Jesus Christ, He did deliver me, and He always will. I wish I could always remember these feelings and truly live in thanksgiving daily. Our God is so good, so kind, and loves us with a love beyond measure.
Marriage and family are gifts of infinite worth. I'm so grateful for my Savior and his willing sacrifice on my behalf. "Although in agony he hung, no murmuring word escaped his tongue." No murmuring thoughts furrowed his brow. Greater love hath no man than this . . .
What a privilege it is to assist the Lord in His work. What a comfort to know that we are in his constant care.
With baby snuggled safely in my arms I drifted off to sleep beside my wonderful husband.
Oh and a little delight for Ben:
Now our Birthdays go like this: 3/12, 4/3, 5/4, 6/5, 7/6. Pretty neat for a numbers guy. :)
