Wrapping up 2023

 Wrapping up 2023

On the 26th Corwin and Lynette Lewis took us to see the play: Savior of the World. We were so moved. How I love our Savior, Jesus Christ and desire to stand as a witness of His love at all times and in all things and in all places. My appreciation for Mary and Joseph and the early disciples was also heightened. We are His disciples in these last days and look forward to His return to the earth in glory to rule and reign as King of all Kings!

Ty (23) Attended BYU-Idaho and dated a lot. He was ordained an Elder in April. Took a summer job in Washington and made good money as a pest control technician. He drove a company van and enjoyed the laid back work, visiting with customers every day. We had several lovely, long telephone conversations. Ty had his wisdom teeth removed this year and stayed with us for a few weeks between work and school. He’s really applying himself these days and has perfect grades. Ty likes to play video games with the younger siblings, most recently: Roblox and Bee Swarm Simulator. They all adore their older brother.

Kaden (21) Started the year out selling solar, but didn’t do as well as he had back in 2021. He decided to join Ty as a Pest control technician in Washington and did very well. Yellow Jackets fear him! Haha. He likes to visit his dad and friends in Alaska and made a few trips this year. He’s got his first semester of college under his belt now, studying Cyber security. He and Ty went on a fun river rafting trip with their company in July. We got to see him at Thanksgiving.

Nephi (18) Also started the year out selling solar and decided it wasn't for him. He moved back to Montana and lived with a wonderful family that employed him in construction and encouraged him in living the gospel. He graduated from seminary at the end of May. Attended FSY in Missoula in July. He has a good friend group in Montana that he hikes with, works out with, plays ultimate frisbee with, etc. He helped us move our belongings out of storage in Montana and into our new place in August, then stayed for Education Week at BYU. Nephi sold his little old, red Mazda truck "T-Rex", and bought a sleek Toyota Camry. He's obsessed with chess, challenging anyone who will sit down with him. He has an eye for detail and has become quite skilled in finished carpentry. He had his wisdom teeth removed as part of his mission prep, but has taken a detour and decided to join the Montana Army National Guard. He’ll start Basic Training in Fort Moore, Georgia next month. He proposed to his darling girlfriend, Janis, just before Christmas. Stay tuned for a wedding date. We all love her and look forward to having her join our family.

Abish (16) Has her driver’s permit and takes advantage of every opportunity to drive! She was in track this spring and really pushed herself, taking 3rd place in the mile at the final and biggest meet. She was on swim team this summer for the first time and did very well. She enjoyed taking art classes, seminary, attending FSY, Girls Camp, and Youth Conference. She was happy to see friends in Montana at the end of July when she went to help move our belongings out of storage and bring them to our own new (rental) house in Orem! She went from sharing a basement bedroom with 2-3 brothers at a time, to her own upstairs room with a view. :) She started karate at the beginning of the year - something she has dreamed about for years! - and is steadily advancing. She also decided to enroll in her school of choice and having set her hand to the plow, never looked back. Going from a relaxed homeschool environment, to an intense early college high school was a huge adjustment, but she pulled it off! 
She never misses a temple trip or a dance. :) She takes time to read to her little brothers and snuggle her favorite sister. Abish spoke in sacrament in our new ward and wasn’t the least bit nervous. She said she enjoyed it! 

Jared (14) Enlisted in Civil Air Patrol (CAP) a branch of the United States Air Force, with the intention of acquiring his pilot’s license as soon as possible. He’s had the opportunity to fly once so far. They meet every week and the program is excellent. I feel like it’s a good substitute for the scouting program. Jared was so disappointed that he couldn’t do all the fun scouting activities that his older brothers did, but CAP has filled in nicely and he’s happy. Jared played on a soccer team for the first time this year and was on swim team as well. He attended Youth Conference, High Adventure, and FSY this summer. Also went with Ben on the trip to Montana in August to help with the move. He loves having his own room (mostly - Elijah does sleep in that room) and study area. He started an online school and enjoys it very much, especially his percussion class (he plays the glockenspiel) and musical theater which he does in-person once a week. He landed the role of Mr. Banks in Mary Poppins and will be performing in March. His grades are outstanding. Jared has a lot of ideas about how to run the household more efficiently, and I’m happy to have his help. He does his chores very well and is home in the early afternoon while Elijah and Pearl are napping so that I can run errands before picking the 3 boys up after school. Jared honors his Priesthood and is a joy to raise. He loves planes. 

Daniel (11) Mastered the splits and a back walkover this year. He attended gymnastics once a week for a few months and practiced a lot at home. We’re hoping to find a good place for him to level up soon. Daniel didn’t want to leave the Whitney’s house and the close association with his cousins, but he has to admit that his new bedroom is a nice upgrade from sleeping under the stairs, (his choice!) Haha. He was on the swim team this summer and is making small improvements with his allergies and asthma. He started 6th grade at Franklin Discovery Academy in Vineyard and got to go on a very special class field trip: the Mighty 5, visiting 5 Utah National Parks in 5 days. It was a growing experience for him, he’d never been away from home and family for that long. Daniel is following Ty as a bookworm. He’s doing very well in school and as always is beloved by nearly every adult. Daniel is also a very good brother to Noah, giving him lots of hugs and snuggles, which are as important to Noah as food and water. He’s excited to enter Young Men’s next week and be able to do baptisms at the Orem Temple. 

Nathan (9) 4th grade. His first time being in public school, since a few months of Kindergarten at LoneRock in Montana. He LOVES this charter school. It’s very hands-on, curiosity led, with wonderful teachers and mentors. Long recesses and no homework. His teachers report that he is quiet and respectful and is doing very well academically. He’s an excellent reader and loves to read out loud during family scripture reading. He’s made some good friends (girls and boys) and likes to initiate get-togethers. The class I’ve seen the most growth in is choir. He has always loved to sing, and to my absolute amazement, Nathan has learned to carry a tune! He and Daniel learned a song for their choir concert that has become my new favorite: “The water is wide. I cannot cross o’er. Neither have I the wings to fly. Build me a boat that can carry two, and we shall row, both I and You.” I love hearing them sing in harmony and I appreciate their wonderful teacher and the songs he selects.
Nathan played soccer and took swimming lessons this year. He loves to ride his bike and play board games.

Noah (6) Has brought the “Golden Student” award home from Kindergarten a few times now. His teachers report that he’s a good friend to other children, especially the ones that can be difficult to get along with. That makes me so happy! He’s a delightful boy, full of energy, enthusiasm, and excitement. He’ll try anything and will absolutely get into trouble if not constantly supervised and given lots of hugs. He likes to color, draw, paint and make crafts. He jumps on the trampoline and does flips on the couch. He loves to play with his brothers and baby sister. He enjoyed playing soccer this fall and made wonderful advancements in swimming lessons. He asks to be in swimming all the time. He learned to ride a bike while we lived with the Whitney’s and a kind neighbor let him borrow a bike just his size. Noah is a friend to everyone. He loves to get together with his cousin, Braylon, and play football at the park with the older boys Braylon rounds up. Nathan expressed interest in preparing for a spelling bee, so we’ve been quizzing everyone at home. Noah has surprisingly been holding his own! Well, maybe it shouldn’t surprise us, he is Noah Webster (Lewis) after all. 

Elijah (3) Definitely has the spiritual gift of bringing people together. By nature he is inclusive, gentle, obedient, and cautious. He’s such a sweet little love bug. Wakes up with the sun.  He’s graduated to a toddler bed and potty trained very quickly once the big kids went to school and he got a little more of my attention. He loves to be read to, always asking for “one more book”. Plays by himself very well, with an active imagination. Loves Paw Patrol and Thomas the Tank Engine. Reading him stories about children learning to be obedient, or honest, has been super helpful. He relates so well. He loves going to nursery, especially in our new ward where they welcome the children by sitting in a circle and singing songs accompanied by their teacher on a guitar. He was scared to death of swimming lessons, but did get into the water and participate a little each time. He can put together a new 24 piece puzzle in just a few minutes. His gift of recall is incredible. He notices when you deviate in the slightest from his favorite books and has a wide vocabulary. He can frequently be heard singing the ABC’s. He fiercely defends his beloved “Noah-Boy” against any perceived injustice. If Nathan and Noah are fighting; it’s Nathan’s fault! Haha. He loves his Papa and is so happy to see him come through the door each evening.

Pearl (1) is working toward becoming a dental hygienist. J/k She’s constantly sticking her fingers in people’s mouths. She’s musically inclined and likes to sing along and wave her arm to conduct. A speedy crawler, there’s no room she has left unexplored. A very picky eater, with three teeth, she gets most of her sustenance from nursing. You’ve got to WORK for a laugh from this girl, unless you’re a dog. Throwing food off her tray to Daisy is her favorite pastime, and about the only time we get to hear her belly laugh. Pearl goes to sleep in her crib so easily, as long as she has her favorite blankie, from Kaye Whitney, which we’ve nicknamed “Fuzzy”. She took to swimming lessons like a fish and loves her bathtime. She seems to be striving to beat her own record at crawling up and down the stairs. She sits down at the top and surveys how far she’s come with a look of immense pleasure at her accomplishment. Then she scoots back down to try it again. Needless to say, we all adore her. She'll give you the stiff arm though if you go overboard on hugs and kisses. She took her first steps a couple of days ago - toward Grandpa. :)

Ben and I are SO thankful for each of these precious children. Our love for each other and our faith and trust in the Lord, Jesus Christ, has grown immeasurably through the adventures of family life. We’re so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost to guide our path. We're thankful for our dear friends who bring such joy to our lives. We're thankful for the Whitney's who welcomed us into their home in October of 2022 and let us stay as long as we needed. We’re thankful to be in our own house again, and to have Ben’s dad living with us as well. He moved in at the beginning of October, and has been such a blessing to our family. He loves each one of his children and grandchildren and emanates a humble faith and deep spirituality. 

A few highlights from the year: Volunteering at the traveling Tabernacle, attending the open house for the Saratoga Springs temple with the Owen Family, and the Orem Temple open house with Hyrum, Nephi and Janis. Having the Anderson’s stay with us during Education Week as well as Caitlyn and Kimber Jensen. Speaking in Church twice - in 2 new wards. Hopefully now we're HOME for a few years at least. Juicing grapes and laying sod with our new landlord. Harvesting apples from the backyard. A visit from Caleb and Kim's family, attending birthday parties with the Bakers and Whitneys, getting together with extended family at Arlene’s office. Cousin Brendon’s homecoming and Kimberly’s farewell. Grandma and Grandpa Baker visiting for Thanksgiving. Kindness from secret Santas at Christmas. A living Church led by our Savior Jesus Christ. Health, growth, and the guiding, comforting influence of the Holy Ghost.

Pearl’s Birth Day

Gratitude

I wanted to be with my family and the Whitney’s: I wanted to labor and give birth at home, without causing undue strain or stress on anyone. God answered my prayers and gave me the desire of my heart.

Labor began November 18 at 3:40 am. Slow and steady. Strong contractions, but far enough apart so as to be easily dealt with one at a time.

Abish brought me breakfast in bed: toast and eggs and hot chocolate. ☺️

I rested and reserved my strength for the marathon that was sure to come. 

Ben created a music playlist for labor and finished inflating the birthing ball. Abish came home from seminary excited to share with us what she had learned about the difference between being thankful  (expressing thanks) and being grateful (shown in our actions).

I had been up puttering around and making some phone calls. I returned to bed, resting and relaxing between contractions that continued 10-15 minutes apart. Wow. That’s the way to labor. 

At lunchtime Jared made me a delicious sandwich, which I ate in bed, feeling totally loved and pampered. Esther came down to check on me and visit. She rubbed my feet.

I napped.  When I woke up it was 4:00 pm. 

I felt lazy, like I was taking advantage of the situation. I got up and dressed and walked out on the back patio and sat on the swing. It was cold, but felt good for a minute. Then I went upstairs and found Esther talking with Stuart about whether or not she should go to the temple. They had this family session planned where they could all be together in the temple before Emma left on her mission. John and Bre, Andrew and Ana, Isaac and Aspyn, and Emma would all be there at the 5:00 session in the Provo Temple.

I encouraged her to go. At that point I wondered if it might be the next day before the baby actually came. 

When Staci learned I was in labor, she made time in a very busy day to bring us dinner. She picked up chicken and wild rice soup with sourdough bread from Great Harvest, then dropped it off and texted to let me know it was at the back door. About 5:00 we heated the soup and I sat down to eat. It was delicious and so nourishing. I kept standing up to lean on the couch through contractions that had decided to pick up their pace. 

I finished my bowl of soup, then went back to my room, changed into a nightgown and prepared the birthing area - a mattress on the ground, covered with a shower curtain and chucks pads. I felt Donae’s presence and knew she was happy for our family and so proud of me and Ben. I felt the great love she has always shown us and rejoiced at her ability to move about freely and participate in this wonderful event. I felt her share with me a confidence that all would go well. I was glad to have her there.

Ben came in to check on me and saw that I was undoubtedly in active labor, on my knees, leaning forward onto the birthing ball. He turned on the music, starting with the exact song I wanted: Be Thou My Vision, by Nathan Pacheco. Abish came in a few minutes later and Ben told her about counter pressure. Soon I changed from leaning on the birthing ball and laid down on the mattress on my side with Ben and Abish pushing on my knees and back simultaneously during contractions. I’ve helped Carlos do this for Sarah during two of her births, and I tried to be as relaxed and peaceful as she was. In my mind I imagined a beautiful flower opening up. I focused completely on relaxing my body so that it could function optimally. Ben explained the birthing process to Abish as she had questions. They both spoke encouraging words to me, expressing their gratitude for my willingness to bring a baby into the world. I felt grateful as well for the privilege and opportunity to have another child, to be a humble instrument in the Lord’s hands. I knew God was with me and would help me every step of the way. I think that having Donae, Abish, and later Esther present had the effect of keeping me on my best behavior. I regretted having whined and complained so much during Elijah’s birth. I had made it harder on Ben and myself by expressing negative thoughts, and was determined not to do so this time.

As I focused on my breathing, and timed each contraction by the number of times I exhaled, I thought of my Savior. In my mind I saw Jesus from The Chosen. His gentle eyes and voice were sympathetic. “I know. It feels like it will last forever.” I knew He was carrying the burden right along with me, letting me struggle only under a weight I could manage. I thanked Him for His help and continued to pray for strength. I remembered Sarah Owen’s birth and how Hazel had pleaded aloud: “Give me strength.” I knew I couldn’t accomplish this birth without His help and I thanked Him continually. 

I couldn’t have been more lovingly supported by my family, and I thanked them as I sought to bear with patience my afflictions.

Ben and Abish were absolutely wonderful.

I used the bathroom several times, and labor progressed very quickly. After 2 hours I was pretty sure I had hit transition. I began vocalizing with a low hum as I breathed through contractions. Esther arrived home from the temple shortly after 7:00 and offered to draw up a hot bath. It was just in time. I was clenching the edges of the mattress and shaking. Abish and Ben helped me up the stairs to Esther’s bathroom where she had a warm bath ready with candles around the edges. I stepped in and lowered myself into the water, welcoming the measure of relief it brought. I leaned against the side of the tub with my head resting on a towel between contractions and took in the peaceful atmosphere. Handles Messiah played softly in the background. Candles glowed around me. Esther placed a cool wet cloth on the back of my neck and gave me sips of water. I knelt During contractions and Ben continued to provide counter pressure on my low back. 

Abish was so excited and had many questions that Ben and Esther lovingly answered. 

During one long and difficult surge, Ben lovingly said, “I’m so proud of you, this is your tenth baby.” A sarcastic thought popped into my mind, “Ya, you’d think I would have learned how to avoid this by now.” But I didn’t give it a voice and immediately chose to ground myself in truth. I chose this. I hoped and prayed for this. I’m exactly where I want to be and I am grateful.

Esther asked if I would like a specific essential oil. I could only think of lavender. She brought the lavender, but also felt impressed to choose Balance. She held the Balance under my nose and as I breathed it in deeply it had the most amazing effect. My breathing became quiet and I stopped trembling. I felt much more stable and in control. A sudden wave of nausea hit me and Esther grabbed a bowl for me to vomit into.

She commented to Abish that this was a normal sign of transition, which was an exciting signpost for them. I wondered if I was dilated enough to push and so made a tentative effort, and met no resistance. I could tell I was going to poop, which greatly embarrassed me, but I knew I couldn’t progress without fully relaxing the pelvic floor muscles. So I really pushed with the next contraction, and not only did I poop, but my water broke! Wow! The embarrassment was alleviated by the incredible realization that birth was very near at hand. (Esther used the barf bowl she had just rinsed out to scoop and flush the floating poopsies. What a great sister, right? I know. She’s the best.)

I reached down to see if I could feel the baby’s head, but I couldn’t feel anything.

Nevertheless, I pushed again with the next contraction and was amazed to feel the head move quickly down, initiating the ring of fire. With a mighty roar I summoned all my strength and pushed until her head was out. 

It was awkward, waiting for the next contraction to complete the delivery. But very soon I found myself roaring louder and longer than before as I pushed with all my might to deliver a significant set of shoulders! Whew!!Just like that, the pain and pressure were gone. Esther reached quickly into the water and brought my big, beautiful baby girl up and put her in my arms. I moved from my knees to sit back against the tub, holding Pearl to my chest and savoring this moment of relief and joy. It was 8:03pm. I had gone from active labor to delivery in less than 3 hours! 

She didn’t breathe right away, but was still receiving oxygen through the umbilical cord, so there was no rush. Ben ran downstairs to grab the bulb syringe and Esther suctioned Pearl. She began to breathe gradually and I lowered her torso back down into the water to keep her warm. It was all so peaceful.

I knew that I had been supported by angels from both sides of the veil and felt that it had been almost too easy compared to other of my children’s births. A profound gratitude enveloped me. God is so good and kind! I made it! She’s here. And she’s perfect. No complications whatsoever, just a simple, beautiful, peaceful birth. Surrounded by angels. My amazing sister and precious husband and daughter. Ana and Emma had heard my battle cries and came in to see the baby. Ana brought me orange juice which hit the spot exactly. I feel like every wish I’ve ever had for a perfect birth was fulfilled with this one. I was absolutely surrounded with loving family. It was a wonderful experience for Ben and Abish too.

Esther is the best sister ever and a fabulous doula. She was calm and supportive and offered so many comfort measures. She even got pictures and video of the children gathering around the tub to meet their baby sister. And do you know what was the sweetest thing? In those first moments after birth, as Pearl was opening her eyes, she looked right at Esther. Esther smiled at her and said, “Hi Pearl” and Pearl smiled back!! 

It was so beautiful. 

After about 25 minutes, Ben clamped and cut the cord and Abish took Pearl out to the living room to meet the entire Whitney family. I delivered the placenta, then took a quick shower, wrapped myself in a bathrobe, and with three cheers from the Whitney’s, went downstairs and climbed into bed to nurse my little daughter for the first time. 

We all went to bed, and it felt wonderful to just lay down and rest, but my heart was too full to sleep. I spent the night in a Spirit of overwhelming Thanksgiving, marveling at the goodness and love and mercy of my Heavenly Father. How can I ever thank Him sufficiently? 

I will serve Him and trust Him all my days. I will love and forgive and serve all of His children. 

What a precious gift it is to be a Mother!

I held little Pearl in my arms almost all night, save for a brief spell where I placed her in her crib between about 3-5:00am when I really did try to sleep. 

Hallelujah! She’s here! 

Elijah's Birth

June 21, 2020

1:15am. I woke up with contractions and used the bathroom, too excited to believe I could actually be in labor a week early. Then I realized: But of course Elijah would come on Father’s Day! Did Malachi not prophecy that Elijah would come before the great and terrible day of the Lord to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers? How did I not see this coming? :)

I climbed back into bed, planning to try to get some more sleep. A few minutes later Nathaneal (6) came and climbed into bed with us, then Noah (2) came in lugging his blankets and made himself comfortable on the floor. (This is a nightly ritual. They rarely stay all night in their own beds. ) I imagined to myself how the morning would play out: I would wake the big kids up early and let them in on my secret of baby Elijah coming today. We would make Papa’s breakfast in bed and as soon as he finished his meal, I’d ask him to set up the birthing tub. 

I didn’t fall back asleep, and eventually gave up on my breakfast-in-bed plan. I woke Ben up and told him that Elijah had decided he wanted to be born on Father’s Day. Ben was happy, but tired, so I assured him he we had time and that he could keep sleeping, which he gratefully did... for about another 15 minutes. During that time I cleaned out the laundry room to make room for the birthing tub, while contractions came every 2-3 minutes. I was at the end of taking the 5 week formula by Natures Sunshine, which was supposed to soften the cervix and strengthen the uterus, leading to quicker deliveries. (I started taking it at 34 weeks instead of 35 ) It seemed to be working well so far, and I hoped this might be a quicker, easier labor and delivery. I didn’t want to miss out on using the birthing tub though, so I went back upstairs and woke Ben up again. It took him about an hour to get the tub set up, inflated and then filled. While he worked on that I puttered around making the laundry room more homey. Cleaned the toilet and set out a candle, dimmed the lights and played music on my phone. Made sure we had receiving blankets, towels, a bulb syringe, etc. all within reach. By 3:30 am I was really grateful to step into the birthing tub. The water wasn’t as warm as I had hoped, but it still brought incredible relief. Like seriously. Ahhhh. It was so much easier to relax through the contractions as they surged steadily along. Keeping an eye on the clock I noticed that they lasted about 1-2 minutes with about 1-2 minutes in between. Ben sat beside the tub with a hand on my arm or back and read the labor companion leaflet I’d purchased with my other birthing supplies from In His Hands. 

I was concentrating very hard on keeping my body relaxed, utilizing my birthing affirmations and thinking grateful, loving thoughts. Receiving each contraction without resistance, allowing it to do it’s work completely. I reflected on my Savior’s willing sacrifice for me and prayed silently in gratitude for Him. I want to be like Him. “although in agony he hung, no murmuring word escaped his tongue.” I breathed steadily through squeezing surges that seemed to almost consume me before peaking and ebbing away. I appreciated having Ben close, but around 5:00 am, his encouraging words became annoying to me. I felt like he couldn’t understand how difficult this job of “relaxing” actually was. So I asked him to please stop talking. This made him laugh, which he tried to hide, but I knew exactly what he was thinking: “Oh good! She’s getting cranky, she must be really close to transition!” I laughed too, oddly enough and said, “I’m not as far along as you think I am, I’m just cranky!” He suppressed a smile, said, “Okay” and nothing more. He added hot water a couple of times until the water temperature was perfect. While the water was spraying in, it was super easy to imagine I was in a hot spring in the mountains, near a waterfall. I can't over-emphasize how soothing water is.  My contractions never slowed down, but I didn’t feel I was making progress and I couldn't understand why. Both Daniel and Nathanael had been born in the water, what was the hold-up here? The thought came several times that I needed to get out of the water for things to really progress, but I didn't want to. Finally, after nearly three hours (6:30am) in the water, I was desperate enough to get this over with that I was willing to change things up. I had only been out of the water for brief intervals to use the toilet, which was a few steps away. 

As difficult as it was to stand up and leave the buoyancy of the water, I knew I needed extra help from gravity. Ben held my hand and supported me by the elbow as much as he could as I got out and put on my night gown. We walked up the stairs and around the kitchen and living room. I was making low moaning sounds with every exhalation by this time, and really struggling to give my body over to the surging waves of pain. I pictured myself on a run, with my sister in law, Kim. We were running up a very steep hill and I desperately wanted to stop and walk. But Kim smiled and led the way, “Come on, Rach! We can do hard things!” That imagery helped me place one foot in front of another until we were back in the laundry room where I got down on my hands and knees and rested my upper body on the birthing ball while Ben pushed gently on the small of my back. I began to shake uncontrollably and felt myself slipping into despair. I told Ben I’d lost my happy thoughts and I couldn’t do this anymore, maybe I’m too old, maybe we can still make it to the hospital for an epidural, why hasn’t my water broken yet? why does this have to hurt so much?

He helped me back into the tub where I was able to regain composure. We both felt I needed to birth on land, so he hurried upstairs to prepare, carrying the little boys back to their own beds, and placing a shower curtain and chucks pads on our bed. While he was gone I tried pushing with the contractions. It felt like I was fully dilated, but the baby just wasn’t moving into position. I did lose my mucous plug though and there was some bloody show. Ben came back and helped me stand up and walk ever so slowly and painfully up the two flights of stairs to our bedroom. He asked if he could carry me, and I knew he wished he could ease my burden, but gravity was what I needed. (He might have also been a little worried about the mess he'd have to clean up if my water broke all over the carpet, lol!)

Halfway to my room I went down to my knees and crawled, pausing for Ben to provide counter pressure during strong surges. He was always right there to push on my back or squeeze my hips, both of which provided much needed relief. 

It was almost 7:00 by now. I worried that the kids would start waking up and asking for breakfast, demanding Ben’s attention. I also felt the need for some outside assurance. I asked Ben to call Bethany Nyholm and ask her to come over. 

I couldn’t rest or find any position of comfort on the bed. I was fairly writhing and crying in pain, so desperate for this to be over with. I asked Ben for a blessing and he quickly retrieved his consecrated oil, anointed my head and gave me a Priesthood blessing of comfort and strength. I remember him blessing me that I might know and feel of my Heavenly Father’s great love for me and for Elijah. He blessed me that my water would break and the baby would be born quickly. I prayed silently but fervently, “Father, please help me accomplish this birth. Please! Deliver me from this overwhelming pain!”

I moved to the toilet and used it as a birthing stool. My legs were shaking but they were at least relieved of my weight and I put my strength into bearing down intensely. Suddenly, “Pop!”, “Splash!” My bag of waters burst, bringing substantial relief. And hope.

I took several cleansing breaths, commenting to Ben how relieved I felt...until the next wave came and I was again down on my hands and knees asking Ben to push on my back. I breathed through it as best as I could, but I felt my hands and feet tingling and knew I was hyperventilating.

I climbed up onto the bed on all fours and pushed mightily with the next contraction. I was right at the edge of the bed and Ben was worried I might fall off. (Our bed is tall.) He asked me 2-3 times to move a little further in on the bed before I was able to comply. My arms were trembling and the incredible power of uterine surges made it difficult to process anything else. 

Finally, the moment we had eagerly awaited for months, was here. I didn’t want to wake up the children, but I couldn’t suppress the battle-cry that rose long and loud as Elijah’s head stretched open that miraculous baby door. The “ring of fire” provided searing satisfaction, not a place I wanted to stay, but an experience I can never forget. 

This beautiful moment is well named as “crowning”. The crown of the head is visible, announcing the eternally significant moment of birth. Crowned in glory, a magnificent spirit enters mortality and claims their earthly tabernacle.

With two, or three more pushes, Elijah’s head, then shoulders squeezed through the birth canal, and “whoosh!”, he was in Papa’s arms. Exquisite relief replaced the pressure. All the pain was worth that very moment! 

Ben helped me step over the cord so I could sit down (our bed is covered in chucks pads) and hold Elijah. With my heart full of thanks to God, I snuggled and admired our precious little one. He was slimy and purple and perfect! Rubbing his back with the receiving blanket, I felt satisfied with his breathing, even though he only made soft squeaking sounds, not really a cry. Ben checked the time: 7:32am. He hurried downstairs for the stack of receiving blankets we’d left by the birthing tub. 

I gazed lovingly at Elijah's little face and big hands. All this time I've wondered what he would look like, and he looks just like his last two brothers, lol! 

Noah woke up and walked in (perfect timing!) and I showed him that Baby Elijah had come out of my tummy. He took it all in, wide eyed, and said, “I not a baby.”  Then he went around waking up the other children, beginning with Abish. When Ben came back upstairs  he wrapped Elijah up and Abish held him beside the bed, with the umbilical cord still attached. Bethany arrived about this time. About 20 minutes after birth, Ben felt it had been sufficient time, and the cord was limp and white, so he clamped and cut the cord and put a tiny rubber band around the stump. He weighed Elijah and announced 8 lbs, 10 ounces! Abish was excited to choose Elijah’s first outfit and dress him, so she took over from there. He had pinked up nicely and was content to sleep in Abish’s arms. 

I climbed into the shower to rinse off and was able to deliver the placenta. Ben and Bethany cleaned up and got the bed ready for me to climb back into to rest. Bethany got my stretchy undies and ice-pack pad ready and helped me into them as I got out of the shower. (Home-birthers, be sure to have these cold pack pads on hand. They are amazing!) 

I climbed into bed and Abish returned the baby for me to suckle and snuggle. Bethany went home to enjoy Father’s Day with her own family. It was so kind of her to come!

Ben had Abish bring me the breakfast menu I had made for him and she marked my choices. I was served a delicious breakfast in bed: raspberry tea, hash browns, bacon, eggs, and orange slices. 

I wish childbirth didn’t feel like walking through the valley of the shadow of death, but I acknowledge that God is all-wise, all-knowing, all-powerful, and perfectly loving. There is purpose in all our suffering. The words of Thomas Paine regarding freedom can rightly be applied to the creation of Life: "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly. Tis dearness only that gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as freedom should not be highly rated."

― Thomas Paine, The American Crisis

I also acknowledge that mutual love and appreciation between husband and wife is forged through these beautiful sacrifices. I love my husband more than ever and never want to be without him. Our dependence upon the Lord is undeniable and our trust in Him is sure. He is our God and the Rock of our Salvation. We will trust in Him forever and not be afraid. 

The children took care of each other and watched Sunday movies for several hours while Ben and I slept. Abish made german pancakes for lunch, and Ty made a nice dinner of taquitos, rice, and corn on the cob. Jared, Daniel, and Nathanael wrapped gifts for Ben and we celebrated around the dining room table. What a memorable Father's Day!

I was grateful to be home with my family. The children constantly snuggled and admired their new baby brother. Ben is my hero! I love our family.  We are so blessed. 

7 isn't enough ;)

It's hard to describe the feelings I've experienced the past couple of days.  This morning we read Elder Nelson's Conference talk: Joy and Spiritual Survival.  

I think that what I'm feeling the strongest is JOY.  Ben is in bed, recovering from surgery, the house is   a wreck from a fire last week,  the children need me to help them get caught up on school work and piano practice, Nathan just pooped in the bathtub and my heart feels as if it could burst with happiness.  Weird.  But I LOVE my life!  There isn't anywhere I'd rather be or anyone else I'd rather be with than my own family.  

Sometimes I lose perspective and get so frustrated when the house isn't clean or large projects aren't finished - or even being worked on.  President Monson's counsel to Find joy in the Journey is so relevant to our day and time.  Jesus Christ is JOY.  When my focus is on Him, the temporary situations around me don't seem so pressing.  Who told me recently not to worry about being "done". Oh, yes, it was Sarah Anderson, when she was here visiting after Thanksgiving.  

Like laundry, Heavenly Father's work is never "done".  It is one continual round, so we'd sure better learn to find joy in the journey!  :)

After Nathan nearly drowned last summer, and after trying numberless remedies for his eczema, I felt I was at the end of my rope.  Ben was under a lot of stress at work and I was carrying most of the load at home.  We agreed that 7 children was a full quiver and that the wisest course for us was a vasectomy.   We could be "done" with babies and focus our best efforts on raising the 7 children we'd already been blessed with.  We prayed about it.  I journaled strong feelings both ways, we sought counsel from our Bishop, and in the end we moved forward with the procedure.

Well, it wasn't like I had time to sit around and regret an empty cradle.  Isaac Whitney lived with us for a couple months, We took care of Bentley for a week while Matthew and Staci were in Cambodia,  and then the Butt family moved into our basement for 5 weeks with 9 children and including a newborn.  School started in September and we were back to the books, with a treehouse in progress.  We have a beautiful life, but sometimes I allow myself to get a little stressed.

On November 4, 2016 our prayers were answered and Ben was laid off from his 12 years of employment.  They gave him a severance package that would take care of us for several months.  We had been hoping for this for at least two months, even considering out and out quitting because the environment had become so torturous for Ben.  He was elated to be free!  We had given careful thought to his future employment and decided that now was the time for him to pursue his life-long goal of owning his own business.  (He actually had his own business when we were first married, Tech-Guys, but I didn't encourage him enough and we thought school should be a higher priority, so it fell by the wayside.  Sigh - so many lessons to learn.)

On November 5th, I attended an Agency Based Education Conference, put on by Oak Norton.  There were a lot of great speakers there, but the most important message came to me through the Spirit.  As one lady spoke of the problems in public education and foster care, I warm feeling spread over me that assured me I was creating a happy home for my children, an environment that they could flourish in spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, and socially.  I wasn't doing it alone.  Heavenly Father was helping me, because this is His work!  

I had considered foster care and adoption, but suddenly I saw how silly that was.  If Heavenly Father has children that belong in my home, then why would I force them to come through a route of tragic pain and suffering when I can provide the ideal?   I felt a strong and sudden longing for more children.  I left the conference early and came home to hug each precious child and have a heart to heart talk with Ben.  We fasted together and the next day Ben told me that he wanted more children too.  He related an experience at work on Halloween, seeing a one-year-old boy learning to walk in a cute little costume, and feeling a great sadness that we wouldn't have any more babies.  

On Monday, November 7, I made some calls and got an appointment for a vasectomy reversal on December 6.  The clinic was in Logan, so we made a little birthday trip for Jared out of it.

The month in between was filled with the usual flurry of activities, school work, Abish and Jared starting piano lessons, scouts, Thanksgiving, etc.  But I didn't feel overwhelmed.  In fact, I increased my temple attendance and received a hope that twin girls might come to our family.  We will name them Ruby Dianne, and Pearl Donae.  I've enjoyed the break for my body.  It's so nice to be able to sleep all night and come and go as I please.  But I'm ready to sacrifice those luxuries again for precious little people to snuggle and kiss and raise.  I love Motherhood more than anything!  Teaching Abish and Jared to play the piano this month has been so amazing!  It's exciting to see them learning a new skill!  

Jared's birthday was a success too.  We drove up to Logan Monday evening, with Abish, Jared, Daniel, and Nathan.  We stayed at La Quinta Inn.  Ben used points from our credit card and only paid $25!  That included swimming, very comfortable sleeping accommodations, and a delicious breakfast buffet the next morning.  Surgery went well, Dr. Larsen was great, and we drove home safely ahead of a snowstorm.  Ty, Kaden and Nephi had all made it to their destinations with rides from friends.  Ty to ULC classes at Lumen, Kaden to seminary, and Nephi to Nin-Jitsu!  :)

I made chicken curry for dinner, Brother Stopa came over, and we had a chocolate cake that Jared picked out at Macey's, and ice-cream for dessert.  Ben is staying in bed, watching BYU-TV, and so far is doing very well.  I sure love him!  We all do!  Daniel likes to make sure his water glass is full, Abish brought him birthday cake, I bring him yummy meals and chocolate.  While I've been writing this most of the children have been upstairs with him watching something on BYU-TV.   He'll be okay. :)

I'm super excited about having more children!  My heart is filled with joy at this opportunity to continue partnering with God in His work.  I will trust in Him forever and find joy in the beautiful journey that I am given!

Divine Intervention

On Friday, August 28th, we went swimming at the Scera Pool.   Lumen Scholar Institute hosted the event, so there were a lot of wonderful families there.

Nathan loves to plunge headlong into the water when we go swimming, and comes up smiling when I pull him out.  He thinks it's a great game.  I know he needs 100% of my attention, 100% of the time around water, but I became absorbed in conversation and forgot him momentarily.  Suddenly, mid-sentence, I snapped to attention, crying: "Where's Nathan?!" I spun around and saw him underwater next to several young children who were playing happily.  I ran and pulled him up and carried him out of the pool, crying for help.  His body felt heavy and lifeless in my arms, his face was blue.  I handed him to a young life-guard who quickly blew his whistle and alerted others to call 911, then laid Nathan down on the concrete.  I turned his head to the side so he wouldn't choke on the water if he began vomiting.  An emergency room doctor was swimming at the pool with his family and came immediately to my side.  We pulled off Nathan's clothes and he quickly found Nathan's femoral pulse.
Wiggling his body around to get the clothes off seemed to revive him.  Without CPR, he began breathing again on his own, although with difficulty.  He soon began to cry, the sound bringing waves of relief washing over me.  I couldn't answer how long he had been under, but the doctor said it could not have been more than seconds for him to have revived so quickly.  It seriously pains me to not know how long he was under, I want to hope it was only a few seconds, but it could have been longer.

What I do know is that many families at the pool that day quickly united in prayer, pleading for the safety of my little one.  One friend in particular, a soon to be mother of 10, held Daniel in her arms and asked him to pray with her that angels would help Nathan to breathe.  Daniel answered: "God is already helping Nathan.  He is breathing right now."  Rachael asked, "Is anyone else helping Nathan?"  He said: "Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandma and Grandpa."
The presence and help of the E.R. Doctor was not a coincidence.   Angels, from both sides of the veil were there to help him survive.  I wonder how often we receive heavenly help and have no idea?

I took Nathan into the ambulance and they gave me an oxygen mask to hold up to his nose.  He quickly fell asleep in my arms, pink again, and content.  In a few minutes his oxygen saturations were 99-100% on room air.

We called Ben at work and he immediately came.  Meanwhile, other mothers had gathered my children and explained the situation.  They were waiting outside the ambulance.  Daniel was goofing off and running away from Ty and ran smack into a sign pole, splitting open his forehead!  The paramedics kindly wrapped his head with a big gauze bandage and we came home.

I felt so horrible for forgetting Nathan.  The next few days I had haunting flashbacks.  I held him close at every opportunity and he hugged back!  As a family we have offered and continue to offer, prayers of thanks for his life being preserved.  How we love this little boy!!!

Monday night I asked Ben for a Priesthood blessing.  It infused me with so much love and peace.  The words I remember most are these: "You are a Mother in Zion who responded quickly to a prompting."

I stayed next to Nathan's crib that Friday night, praying more than sleeping.  How could I have been so negligent?  I pled for forgiveness.  It came to my mind that we are not alone in this business of raising children.  This is God's work!  He know's my best is woefully inadequate, and through His grace he makes up the difference.   I'm so grateful for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I receive Heavenly help on a daily basis, but it's the heart-stopping moments like this one that draw my attention to the fact that I depend on Him for everything.  Motherhood is a work of faith, trust, hope.  We could never do it alone, and gratefully, we don't have to.  

Saturday morning I took the children hiking up to Battle Creek Falls.  We are all so grateful to have our Nathan!!

On Sunday we attended Katie Johnston's mission farewell.  We're so happy for her decision to serve!  She'll be a great missionary, just like her cousin, Fashi.  :)



Ben was never angry with me through this.  He assured me over and over that I'm a wonderful mother and this could have happened to anyone.
I'm so thankful for his constant love.  
Our sons have a fantastic role model!

This I know, God answers prayers!

I love General Conference!  Elder D. Todd Christofferson is always one of my favorite speakers.  In his talk this morning he said (as best I can remember) "divine aid can be available to us every hour . . . but we must take responsibility and go to work, so there can be something for God to help us with."  I understand this principle.  I said the same thing to Jared last week when he was lying on the floor crying: "Will you help me clean my room?"  I answered:  "I'm not going to do it for you, and I can't help you until you get started."
But I want to record and share my testimony of this principle in action in my own life.

We've known for nearly two months that the renters in our Springville house would be moving out at the end of September.  I listed the house on KSL in August and received a lot of interest, but the folks I met and showed the house to were not anyone I would feel comfortable renting to.  After talking to a few Property Managers and hearing how they generally get a higher quality of clientele coming to them, knowing they will perform background and credit checks, etc., Ben and I decided to go ahead and hire one.  This alleviated my mind during the very busy month of September while we moved to Lindon, and worked on settling in, homeschooling, home-improvement projects, etc.
About once a week I would call this guy that we hired and ask how things were coming along.  His responses failed to assure me that he was doing everything he could, and he never initiated any contact with me.  In desperation, I fasted on September 28th, and felt it was best to discontinue working with him and pursue another route.  I prayed about it constantly, trying to decide whether we should keep trying to find our own renters or hire another property manager.  I talked to my brother, Matthew, interviewed several more agencies, and finally found a lady in Springville that I really connected with and felt would do a great job.  She met me at the rental house on Thursday (Oct. 2) and detailed what needed to be cleaned and prepared in order for her to take the listing.  Ben wanted to go this route, because he has so much on his plate at work and at home that he didn't want to have to worry about it.  I, on the other hand, was sad that it couldn't work out like it did with the Day family, where we felt clearly guided by the Spirit in offering to let them rent our house.  It worked out so beautifully with them and was a blessing for their family and ours.  Still, I hadn't received any promptings this time, even though I had done everything I could, so I was ready to sign up with this new manager and turn it over to her.  She didn't have a contract with her just then, so we agreed to meet Friday morning at her office.
Thursday evening Ben and I spent cleaning and preparing the Springville house, along with the Days and our friends, the Higbees.   The Days told us of a couple families they knew were looking for another place to rent.  I felt impressed to follow up with one of them, even though it was doubtful they would be able to pay what we knew was a fair going rate for the property.
All Friday morning I deliberated over what to do.  Should we go the "safer" route and use a property manager?  Or offer it to these neighbor friends?  I made a list of pros and cons.  I listed the costs either way.  And I prayed.  I prayed hard.   It didn't feel wrong to offer it to our friends, and it matched my desires.  I hoped it would work.  And I took the plunge.
Messaging back and forth on Facebook, I felt out the needs and desires of this friend and her family.  She told me her housing budget, and I thought it over.   There was no sense of entitlement from her whatsoever, only sincere gratitude that we would consider making this work for them.  I kept praying that God would let me know if this wasn't the best course before it went too far, but it felt right.  I felt really good.  Peaceful.  Grateful.  Sure that my Father had heard and answered my prayers.  And guess what?  She felt that way too.  She said that this offer to rent our house at their budgeted amount was an answer to her prayers.

I can't adequately express my joy and gratitude at receiving this special blessing.   For the second time, the Lord led us to find renters!  Another wonderful family who is happy to live in our home and will take good care of it.  What a relief this is for me!   I know God hears and answers our prayers.  I know He loves us!

This experience was a witness to me of the truthfulness of Elder Christofferson's teaching: "When we take responsibility, and go to work,  God will be there to help us."  I was moving forward, I was so close to signing that contract, but my last-minute God true to form, was there.

Speaking in Sacrament - a Family Affair

Our family had the opportunity to speak in church today, in our new ward in Lindon.  It was so much fun!  The kids seemed to enjoy sitting on the stand and looking out at the audience.  Everyone from Jared on up had a turn speaking.  Jared loves to give talks.  He walked right up and spoke without any sign of fear:  

"All Human Beings - male and female - were created in the image of God.  My name is Jared and I am 4 years old.  I'm growing up to be a missionary and a daddy.  Jesus is our Savior.  Heavenly Father and Jesus created this world for us because we are special to them.  I love my family."  Then he sang the song we made up for the family reunion, to the tune of Frozen's, do you wanna build a snowman: "Do you wanna build a family?  Father, mother, daughter, son.  I think a family is the way to show, how love can grow, you know it's lots of fun!  A family is a blessing, let us not forget.  Even though there are days we cry . . . Never give up on yours fam'ly, there's nothing better than a fam'ly!  Amen."

Then Abish spoke.  Her talk was a little different every time we practiced it.  My name is Abish, I'm 6 years old.  I love my mom and dad and my 6 brothers.  I hope that someday I'll have a sister.  I'm happy to know that I am a child of God.   . . . I'm going to . . . get married.  (She was trying to remember: When I grow up, I will be married in the temple so my family will be sealed forever.)  I want to grow up to be a Mother, and I want to be a Grandma!
I want to go on a mission and bring the gospel to other people.  I . . . love Jesus . . . because he is so kind.   (Abish doesn't enjoy giving talks as much as Jared does.  She actually opted out when we spoke in the Elk Ridge Ward earlier this year, and had some evident stage fright today.  Still, she did a good job and was very pleased with herself.)

Nephi gave his talk from memory.  This past week he had considered what was special to him about each of his siblings.  He said:  My name is Nephi.  I'm 9 years old.  I love my family.  I love to play with my brothers.  They are good examples to me.  Ty is nice.  He solves fights.  When Mom is gone and he's taking care of us, he makes sure everyone is happy.  Kaden shares his things with us, like his legos, candy, and books.  Jared and I like to pretend we're cowboys.  Daniel means what he says.  (Isn't that hilarious?!  That's what he's observed about his 2 year old brother.  It's true too.  Daniel speaks his mind and is difficult to sway.)  God put us in families because He knew we needed them. 

After Nephi's talk our whole family (Ben was holding Nathan and I was holding Daniel who had a binkie in his mouth, a sippy in one hand and a container of cheerios in the other) came to the microphone and sang: The Family is of God

Kaden wrote his talk completely on his own, sharing his experiences from youth conference, expressing thanks to the leaders, and bearing his testimony.  I'm so proud of him!

"Hi.  My name is Kaden Saltzgiver for those of you who don't know me.  I would like to talk about my experience at youth conference.  When we got there we didn't want to help set up the tents and get everything ready, we were right by a big lake and we all wanted to go swimming.  After we set everything up and ate lunch, we went to a field and did a bunch of fun activities.  Then we had a big water fight with some other people.   It was way awesome!  Thanks, Leaders!  Then, later that night we all went to the Castle Valley Pageant.  Before the pageant we got to walk around the area where they would perform.  They had fun activities to do before it started.  The pageant was about the saints.  The prophet, Brigham Young, asked everyone if some of the saints would leave their nice home and go to Castle Valley and turn it into a city for other saints to come and live in.

Later, the next morning, we went back to where the pageant took place and cleared out all the big rocks so that when the actors came they could do everything smoothly.  Then we ate lunch, returned to our camp area, and swam for the rest of the day.  The leaders brought kayaks and rented paddle boards.  There was a big dock out in the water and we all got on the dock and tried to push each other off.  We called it: King of the Dock! Then we all got out and had a testimony meeting.  The spirit was so strong.  After that we watched The Blind Side.  It was great. 

In the morning we packed up and drove back.  I can't explain how much of a great time I had.  Thank you so much, Leaders.  You guys are awesome!

I would like to bear my testimony that I know this church is true.  I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, and I know that this church is the one and only true church of God.  I love my family and I know that they love me.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Ty was next:

About three weeks ago I got to go on the youth conference trip as my first activity with this ward.  I was a little nervous, because I didn't know anyone, but it was really nice because everyone was so friendly.   

We drove down to Southern Utah to see the Castle Valley Pageant.  It was about the generation after the pioneers who crossed the plains.  They were called by the prophet Brigham Young to settle Castle Valley.  They had to leave the comfort of their homes in an established town and start all over with basically a little dirt hut.   The prophet asked for volunteers to go and settle Castle Valley.  So the people who went, went trusting in the Lord and his prophet that they would be given the strength they needed to survive and establish a new town for other saints to come and settle in.  They sacrificed a lot and were blessed to know they were doing the Lord’s work.  I know that if I follow the Lord and his prophets, I’ll be blessed too.  

We also did a service project, moving big rocks off the trail that they use in the pageant.  Then we got to swim and play in the water.  

I’m glad I got to go to youth conference.  It was a lot of fun.  I’m thankful to the leaders for coming and helping to prepare everything.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Daniel was feeling extremely playful and Ben and I had to corner him in the stand.  A kind lady named Kris, who serves in the primary presidency, saw our plight and took Daniel to play in the nursery.  I was glad Ben got to stay and hear my talk.  It's the longest and probably the best talk I've ever given, because I actually wrote it from my own experiences instead of compiling notes from other people's talks.

We’re excited to be in this ward, and are thankful for the opportunity to speak.   A couple years ago, we started a private school and put a lot of time and money into it.  It was a great experience and we learned a lot.  I came away with a deeper appreciation for the opportunities this church offers our youth (and adults) to prepare talks and lessons, teach basic doctrines and share testimony.  This really is the highest form of learning, when we preparing to teach.

I was so uplifted by the talks and lessons I heard last week.   Thank you.  What a blessing it is to be able to come to church each week and be spiritually fed.  I love the topic we were asked to speak on today: defending the doctrine of the family.

The Family is ordained of God.  Families are central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.  They are the very purpose for which this world was created.  “He sent each one of us to earth, through birth, to live and learn here in fam’lys.”  In the premortal realm we shouted for joy at the prospect of becoming like our Heavenly Parents!

          When I went off to college at the ripe old age of 18, I was acutely aware of my parents faults and planned to do a much better job with my own family.   Now, 17 years later, with a family of my own, I think: my parents did a pretty good job!   I wonder if I was cocky as a spirit daughter too.  “Heavenly Father, I’m ready to go!  I can handle any experience that  physical body holds for me!”  Now I’m like “Fast . . .  for 24 hours?!  But I’m so hungry! . . .”  Trying to wake up at 6:00 . . “just 5 more minutes . . .zzzzz.”  My parents accredit the success they’ve experienced in their family to “following the Lord’s program!”  I want to share a little bit about them.

I’m the 7th of 11 children.  I was born in Missoula Montana in 1979.      My parents were also born in Missoula, although my Dad grew up in Idaho.  He returned to Missoula in his late teens where he met and married my Mom.  Although neither of my parents had the gospel of Jesus Christ when they were growing up, they did have parents who stayed together, loved their children as best they could, and taught them to believe the Bible.  I was even more fortunate, because 8 years before I was born, my parents were taught the gospel by two young LDS missionaries and joined the Church in 1971.  At the time they were just newly married and had two small children.  They had no plans for a large family.  My mom, by her own confession, "doesn't like babies", but she believed that following the prophets would bring happiness, so she obeyed in faith and let the children come.  Her example on this account speaks volumes to me!  She didn’t have children because they are cute or fun, or because she had easy pregnancies (she didn’t).  She had children in order to keep the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.  As her 7th child, I am SO glad she did! :) I shudder to think of where I would be without my family, without the gospel!

Dad was a conductor for the Burlington Northern railroad and his job frequently kept him away from home for days at a time, but when he was home he played with us, took us camping, and involved us in all his home improvement projects.  He also baptized each of us children and provided special father's blessings. I'm thankful for my wonderful parents!

My Dad worked hard and provided well.  He built us a large, beautiful home on 40 acres.  I grew up with farm animals - horses, pigs, chickens, ducks, dogs, cats, peacocks, goats, and cows. I climbed trees, played in tree houses, and had lots of room to run and play.  (It's a dream come true to buy this house here in Lindon and extend similar opportunities to my own children.) My mom kept us busy (at least that's how I felt as a child - that she was keeping us busy - heh, heh) growing a large garden, taking care of animals (and younger siblings), doing laundry, and cleaning the house.    She  taught us the gospel through daily family scripture study, weekly family home evenings, and her own example.  She accepted callings, went visiting teaching, and made semi-annual General Conference a family event.   

While my parents and family are not perfect, living the gospel has blessed us tremendously and brought great happiness.  They are serving a mission in Wisconsin right now and their examples continue to bless my life and the lives of my children.  Earlier this month we had a family reunion at Bear Lake.  My parent’ mission president encouraged them to come home for this special event.  Nine of eleven siblings and their spouses camped for three days and enjoyed swimming, games, running, crafts, and testimony sharing.  44 out of 55 cousins came together for  a great time.   It was wonderful, hard to say good-bye and return to our separate homes, and yet, it was impressed on my mind how strong a parent’s love is for a child.  It’s stronger than an Aunt’s, stronger than a Grandmother’s.  Parents love children enough to do the difficult work of enforcing rules.   I think this helps us understand our Heavenly Father a little more.  He isn’t a Heavenly Grandfather.    

“Too often we confuse God’s love with human kindness. We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven—a senile benevolence who, as they say, ‘liked to see young people enjoying themselves’ and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of the day, ‘a good time was had by all.’”

But that is not God’s plan for us. He wants us to become like Him. He wants us to experience the fullness of joy He enjoys—eternal joy, not merely temporary contentedness. And He loves us enough that He will do whatever it takes for us to reach that goal, including allowing us to experience things that are difficult and soul-stretching. And He does it not because He doesn’t love us, but precisely because He does.

But even when we have to learn things from our extremities in order to fulfill God’s plan for us, His love will be there to sustain us… especially when we need His love the most. …So let us not sell God’s love short by confusing it with mere human kindness. His love is much deeper than that.” (Kevin J. Worthen, “It Was as If a Blanket of Love Was Flowing Over Me”, May 2, 2013, BYU Women’s Conference)  

I knew from my youth that having the gospel at the center of my home was important to me.  I graduated from Rick’s College (now BYU-I) with a degree in Nursing, and married a returned missionary in the temple.  Beginning my own family is where I feel my education really began.   My whole life so far had been looking forward to and preparing for this!  Now here I was, and sharing my life with a husband was a lot harder than I thought it would be!  I grew much closer to Heavenly Father through sincere prayer as I struggled in that marriage.  We had two precious little boys, but sadly, that marriage ended in divorce.  For two years I supported myself and my children as a single mother, and was very grateful for my nursing degree.  

In 2004, I agreed to go on a blind date set up by a little known acquaintance.  Boy, was that a good idea!  Ben had actually been married and divorced himself, which seems like it should have been a red-flag - warning - danger -, but it turned out that we had a lot to talk about and understood each other really well.   We both wanted to put the Lord first in our marriage, and support one another in keeping the commandments.  We were married in the Provo Temple and in a couple weeks we’ll celebrate our 10th Anniversary!    

What a joy it is to be in a peaceful, secure marriage! I wonder if I would have appreciated it this much if I had never experienced the opposite?  We have been blessed with 7 wonderful children, whom we hope and pray will marry well and find joy in their own families.  

In 2 Nephi 2:22 Nephi is teaching about the fall of Adam and Eve: “If Adam had not transgressed, he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden.  And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they would have remained forever, and had no end.”  

This is essentially describing life without opposition.   You would clean the house and it would it would stay clean! Whatever you like to build or create, imagine it lasting forever without becoming old or ruined.  Sounds nice, right? But could it do so while fulfilling the measure of it’s creation?   Adam and Eve chose to leave the garden paradise, void of weeds, hunger, thirst, or fatigue in order to fill the measure of their creation and become PARENTS.   We should reflect often on the great privilege it is to be a father or a mother.  

Not that it’s easy.  Verse 23 says: and they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good for they knew no sin.”  It’s true, children help us experience both joy and misery.  Ben asked me the other night if I’d ever had the kids cry for more than 20 minutes in the car?  He said he was ready to pull his hair out!  I said I would have pulled over, or turned the music up so loud that they would have to stop crying in order to ask me turn it down. ;)

I usually snuggle with my 2 year old at nap time.  We put our foreheads together and sometimes the shoelace from his pacifier (you see, his pacifier is tied to his bed - best idea ever!) sometimes the end of that shoelace tickles my face and makes me rub my nose like crazy.  Daniel breaks out in a belly laugh that is so contagious I can’t help myself and we laugh and laugh together.  That’s part of the joy.  So is eating delicious breakfasts made by my  14 year old, morning after morning.  Or having lotion rubbed on my feet by tiny hands, eager to return the favor.  Receiving countless hand-drawn pictures and lego creations.  Deciphering little love notes left by a child just learning to write.  And seeing a 12 year old lose himself in serving his younger siblings.  These are a few of my favorite things.  They more than compensate for the less favorite things, like toothpaste in the carpet, soiled underwear, morning sickness, piles of laundry, squabbling siblings, chaotic meals, and . . . crying (them and me).

Home is truly a laboratory of learning.

Ensign, March 1979 Laboratory of Love

Where the home is, there love should be. The home is the laboratory of love, and in it resides the most important unit of the Church and of society—the family. Recently I was interviewed by a representative of a national magazine who expressed keen interest in a photograph on my desk of Sister Nelson and me with our family. He asked if we had any problems with rebellious youth, drug abuse, and morals among such a large family. When I replied in the negative, his interest seemed to become more intense.

                   

Then he said, “When did you and your wife start to plan for your family and give them such emphasis in your lives?”

                   

I simply replied, “Before we were ever married.” Then I continued, “You see, we believe that our major goal in life is to strengthen our family. Service in the Church, the community, continuing education, and our occupational endeavors all are undertaken to provide development for our family.”

                   

He seemed surprised. He countered; “But earlier in our interview you said you and your wife had always tried to obey the scripture, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God.’ (Matt. 6:33.) Now you tell me the family comes first.”

                   

He thought he had me. But I  . .  said, “I cannot seek the kingdom of God without loving and honoring first that family he has given to me. I cannot honor that family without loving and caring first for my wife!”

Our families provide the perfect training ground for us to “seek first the kingdom of God, by learning and practicing Christ-like qualities.

The RS lesson last Sunday, from the Joseph Fielding Smith manual taught:  “The importance of family unity - love and consideration for one another in the family - cannot be overemphasized.  Spiritual solidarity in family relationships is the sure foundation upon which the church and society itself will flourish.”  Satan knows this very well and is using every clever device, influence, and power within his control to undermine and destroy this eternal institution.  “Only the gospel of Jesus Christ applied in family relationships will thwart this devilish destructiveness.”

In order to preserve love and unity in our homes we must guard against contention.

A friend recently posted on fb: Nothing gets you out of bed faster than when your three year old hands you a toilet brush.  True right?  We can picture that.  Now if we could be like Nephi and shake at the appearance of sin, then contention would be as appalling to us as a toilet brush and elicit a similar response:  “Noooo, keep it away from me!”

Elder Nelson also taught:  As we dread any disease that undermines the health of the body, so should we deplore contention, which is a corroding canker of the spirit.”

 Abraham Lincoln said:

“Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. … Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him.” (Letter to J. M. Cutts, 26 Oct. 1863, in Concise Lincoln Dictionary of Thoughts and Statements, comp. and arr. Ralph B. Winn, New York: New York Philosophical Library, 1959, p. 107.)

Contention destroys peace by driving away the Spirit of the Lord.    “The Lord God hath commanded men  . . . that they should not contend one with another.” (2 Ne. 26:32.)

How can we make preserving unity and peace a family goal?   

A couple things we have tried are: Sing a hymn, “I’m trying to be like Jesus”.  Whisper the code words: soft hearts, quoting scripture:  a soft answer turneth away wrath. :) He that is slow to anger is stronger than the mighty, and he that controlleth his tongue, than he that taketh a city.  :)  Or just exercising a quiet patience - simple, profound belief that things will get better.

As we consistently work at it and follow the prophetic counsel to have daily family scripture study, family prayers, weekly family home evenings, and make family mealtimes a priority, we will begin to reap the benefits recorded in 3rd Nephi:

And there was no contention in all the land because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the of the people.

My children frequently amaze me by the patience and long suffering they show toward me and with each other.  I’m so proud of them and humbled to be their mother.  I’m grateful for the help we receive from wonderful nursery, primary, and youth leaders.  I’m so thankful for my membership in this church.  I know it contains the fulness of the everlasting gospel!

I know God lives.  I have felt Him near me during times of happiness as well as during the most difficult times of my life.  He helped me through my divorce and gave me the confidence I needed to marry again.  He is our Heavenly Father and He loves us.  I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer.  

I’m so grateful for my family, past, present and future.  I love them so much.   I’m grateful for the opportunities given to me daily for me to learn to get along with others, to forgive, to be patient, to help me become like Heavenly Mother. I’m thankful for our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. I know he has been called of God and leads this church as the Savior would have him do. I know that if I continue doing my best to follow the teachings and example of our Savior, eliminating the spirit of contention in my life, that my home, family, and the world will be blessed.   In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Several kind people told us they enjoyed our talks.  One man said he felt hope upon hearing that ours was a blended family, that we have both survived divorce.  His wife left him earlier this year.   Another man said he was filled with "holy envy" to hear that we had a daughter named Abish.  He said he has always wanted to give one of his daughters that name!   

I'm so proud of my kids for preparing and giving such great talks, and I'm glad it's over!  :)

Oh, and Ben shared excerpts from Julie Beck's talk: Teaching the doctrine of the family.  As the last speaker he usually has lots of time that he has to fill, but not today!  He only had about 7 minutes.  My favorite part of his talk was: "I love my wife!"  :)